Our family recently returned home from a much anticipated sailing vacation. I know, a sailing vacation may seem like an odd choice for a man who spends six months at sea, but, it was daddy who orchestrated our seafaring adventure.
First, I would like to say, that for the most part, we had a very nice time. We were able to sail to beautiful locations and see and do some really cool stuff. However, we did run into some rough conditions along the way (nothing to do with the winds or the water), that could have easily been prevented with a little more planning and forethought.
Our vacation odyssey took place at the end of the summer, two months into my husband’s time home. Prior to leaving for our vacation, my family had enjoyed much of the summer together. No school. Minimal activities. Loads of time at beaches, pools, barbeques or just hanging around the house….together. As nice as that sounds in an article in a parenting magazine, that much time together with a young family can actually lead to some issues. By issues, I mean drop down, drag out, fist to cuff battles. Dropping our “shore warriors” on a 33 foot sailboat for five days presented my husband and I with challenges that we did not anticipate, but clearly should have been expected. The squabbles began early and seemed to only intensify with close containment of the boat. This took a toll on all of us, especially our captain and trip planner. Captain Daddy had already spent two months on the front lines at home with our family where brief retreats to a buddy’s house or a long bike ride were permitted. However, on a 33 foot boat, such retreats were not possible. As stay-at-home mom/field general, I have developed a high tolerance for sibling wars. My husband’s tolerance levels are far less sophisticated. Eventually, we came up with a workable strategy to combat the rising surges: shorter sail times, followed by more time ashore–preferably destinations with wide open spaces (beaches and parks), allowing our sail troopers (daddy included) to blow off steam.
Lesson learned. The key is to a successful family vacation is to plan it when the conditions are optimal. Our life as a maritime family is different. Yes, daddy does go to work for three months at a time. But, the flip side, is that he is home with us, for three months at a time as well. The key is to take advantage of this situation, not be blindsided by it. If possible, a vacation should be planned when daddy first gets home. Yes, maybe he’ll be a bit shell shocked after his “quiet time” at sea, but his tolerance levels will be refreshed. He will also actually be craving family time. Subsequently, when daddy gets home, the kids are so thrilled to see him that they tend to focus on him instead of declaring war against their sister who last cookie, or their brother who is breathing in their air space. In general, family time–together time is more enjoyable, more peaceful when daddy is fresh on the scene. There is no reason why that peace at home cannot be packed up and taken on vacation. In fact, it can and should be!